“In no way was the comment meant in a racist manner…”

SportsCenter May 21.

Flashback: Tiger Woods tells mistress Jaimee Grubbs that he’s “Blasian”…

Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning

Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u

Tiger: Because I’m blasian

Senate Session, May 21.

Awkwarddd: Rand Paul and La Raza operative John McCain get stuck in an elevator together…

“If you’re not willing to come to us and let us have amendments to strengthen the bill– how do you expect us to vote for it?”

Mark Levin Show May 21.

Rubiocare talk begins at 5:30…

This AM: El Rushbo gives Rand Paul some love

Via Alex Jones Show…

* The following clip has been edited for time as per MP’s loose journalistic standards.

Flashback: Alex Jones accurately describes Michael Moore as a “disgusting, pig-like creature”…

“You go bag groceries at the grocery store with your PHD– I’ll try to take the world back! How’s that sound!?”

Via Alex Jones Show…

Dear Class of ’13: You’ve been scammed…

You have just paid about three times as much for your degree as did someone graduating 30 years ago. That’s in constant dollars — in other words, after accounting for inflation. There is no evidence that you have received a degree three times as good. Some would wonder if you have received a degree even one times as good.

According to the College Board, in 1983 a typical private American university managed to provide a bachelor’s-degree-level education to young people just like you for $11,000 a year in tuition and fees. That’s in 2012 dollars.

Instead, those of you at private colleges paid this year an average of $29,000.

“He should walk away from it– he should say ‘I made a good faith effort’…”

Laura Ingraham Show May 21.

For all the good it will do: Over 150 conservative leaders, groups sign letter opposing Gang of 8 bill…

Over 150 conservative leaders, groups and grassroots activists have signed an open letter opposing the Senate immigration reform bill.

“We write to express our serious concerns regarding the Gang of Eight’s immigration bill, S. 744. We oppose this bill and urge you to vote against it when it comes to the Senate floor,” the letter to be released Tuesday and obtained by The Daily Caller reads. ”No matter how well intentioned, the Schumer-Rubio bill suffers from fundamental design flaws that make it unsalvageable. Many of us support various parts of the legislation, but the overall package is so unsatisfactory that the Senate would do better to start over from scratch.”

Signed by conservatives leaders and group representatives including radio host Laura Ingraham, Fox News personality Monica Crowley, Red State’s Erick Erickson, radio host Mark Levin, Hoover Institution’s Victor Davis Hanson, and The Daily Caller’s Mickey Kaus, the letter highlights a number of issues the signers have with the legislation including their concerns that the bill.

Rush Limbaugh Show May 21.

#FACT: If Marco Rubio had said all that? Rush would have immediately declared Rubio the living embodiment of Ronald Reagan, William F. Buckley, George Washington, and Jesus Christ all rolled into one.

Flashbax…

• Rush Limbaugh: Marco Rubio is a “force of nature”!
• El Rushbo doesn’t include Rand Paul in his list of favorite conservatives.
• El Rushbo takes Marco Rubio’s call, but refuses to talk to Rand Paul.
• El Rushbo praises “Tea Party Republicans” Ted Cruz and Mike Lee, but leaves out Rand

Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, May 21.

Via @SenRandPaul…

It’s absurd for Congress to vilify businesses like Apple for wanting to minimize their tax code just like every other American rightly does.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) May 21, 2013

I will do everything in my power to make our tax code simpler. I will not be a party to witch hunts that mistake cause for effect.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) May 21, 2013

To the Apple executives here, I apologize for this theater of the absurd.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) May 21, 2013

MLive: Carl Levin accuses Apple of “the Holy Grail of tax avoidance”….

“Apple sought the Holy Grail of tax avoidance,” the Michigan Democrat said. “It has created offshore entities holding tens of billions of dollars, while claiming to be a tax resident nowhere.”

Levin’s statement comes the day before the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations holds a hearing to look at tax loopholes at Apple.

According to a congressional study, Apple avoided paying billions of dollars in taxes by having offices located across the world, including Ireland.

Hmmm.

Does Carl Levin tells his accountant(s) to make sure he pays as much in taxes as possible? I’m going to go out on a limb and say the opposite is true– I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Carl Levin, like Apple, and everyone else on Earth– tries to pay in little in taxes as possible.

New Hampshire GOP Fundraiser, May 20.

Chris Matthews accuses Rand Paul of racism in 3, 2, 1…

Meanwhile, New Hampshire-ites greeted Rand Paul with enthusiasm. Kind of…

New Hampshire GOP Fundraiser, May 20.

Evidently, Bill Clinton has already relieved Hillary Clinton of duty. In the sack…

The stories about one woman were more concrete, and after some discreet fact-finding, the group concluded that they were true: that Bill was indeed having an affair — and not a frivolous one-night stand but a sustained romantic relationship.

….

This one is mostly likely about Belinda Stronach, the billionaire Canadian politician

What!? The stunningly beautiful gazillionaire Belinda Stronach!?

Stronach is a creature the likes of which Ottawa has rarely seen, like something out of a Jackie Collins novel. Young, single and beautiful, she’s a twice-divorced heiress who has been linked by the tabloids to former U.S. president Bill Clinton.

Is there no justice in this world!?

But wait!

Hillary Clinton had wandering eyes too! For Bill Weld! Ew, gross!

Former Gov. Bill Weld swears he and Hillary Clinton were all business when they were both House Judiciary Committee staffers during the Watergate scandal, but a new flick about the ex-secretary of state’s younger days depicts a pair of hot-to-trot attorneys on the verge of a passionate fling!

“We gotta keep those people from Massachusetts out of New Hampshire!”

New Hampshire GOP Fundraiser, May 20.

Oh Rand! You’re such a kidder!

Flashback: Rand accurately impersonates “snobby” John Kerry

But wait! There’s more!

Craig from Nashville got a college degree while living out of his car!

But wait! There’s more!

Craig from Nashville got his degree from a Christian College– Liberty University!

But wait! There’s more!

Craig from Nashville got his degree in…(wait for it)…Religion!

Despite Craig from Nashville’s initial faux-refusal to accept Sean Hannity’s help, he eventually relented (shocker)…

“You sound like a really responsible person…I wanna help somebody out…”

Sean Hannity Show May 20.