Mofo Politics

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Heartache: Fmr. POW Jessica Lynch has gained a lot of weight

Apr. 1, 2013
Mark Capra

It’s been 10 years since special forces staged the dramatic rescue of Jessica Lynch (God, I feel old).

At some point during her captivity, Jessica Lynch was almost assuredly raped…

Jessica Lynch, the former prisoner of war whose rescue made her the most famous GI in the Iraq war, was raped by her captors, according to her authorized biography.

Rick Bragg writes that scars on Lynch’s body and medical records indicate she was sodomized, but that Lynch recalls nothing: “Jessi lost three hours. She lost them in the snapping bones, in the crash of the Humvee, in the torment her enemies inflicted on her after she was pulled from it.”

I’m just gonna say it: Maybe Todd Akin had a point?

In the intervening years since her rescue, Jessica Lynch has gotten progressively hotter, reaching a high water mark in 2007, when she testified before Congress about, you know, whatever…

10 years, 21 surgeries, and having children later, the 29-year-old has begun to show signs of decline (in hotness)…

Today April 1.

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