Both are professional ads done in a Michael Bay-ish, epic, summer box office style. One ad is awesome. The other is retarded.

The only difference? One stars a goofy-looking douchebag…

The other stars Paul F-ing Ryan…

Also, imagine Tim Pawlenty trying to pull this off…

Sometime after 3 p.m., he exited his home into the back yard (where reporters couldn’t see) and went into the woods.

…

Escaping via the woods isn’t something new for Ryan, either. It is a tactic the congressman has been forced to use before due to protesters in front of his house. Ryan is used to cutting through the bushes.

Waiting a couple of hundred yards on the other side: Speth, who took Ryan and his family to an airport in neighboring Illinois, where a private plane would whisk them to Virginia.

You just know that buffoon would have tripped and fallen in to a ditch or something.